Every relationship goes through a rough patch and married couples, no matter how long they have been together, are not exempted from this reality.
There are a lot of things that can cause a fight between spouses. Sometimes, it can be as petty as who forgot to lock the door before they left or as serious as financial matters. Most of the time, couples end up shouting at each other when they are mad or they walk out on one another. However, there are some arguments which can get really offensive, too.
To avoid these terrible fights and to save your marriage from possible separation, here are 4 ways to resolve arguments before they get out of hand:
- Take a breather.
As much as possible, do not talk to each other when the issue is still fresh. Although it is advisable that you talk your problems out, it is nonetheless necessary that when you face each other, your mind is no longer clouded with emotions so that you can deal with your situation better.
Taking a breather is the simplest among the 4 ways to resolve arguments before they get out of hand because it lets you think things thoroughly. After knowing the problem, try to get out of the house and take a walk for a while just to clear your head. If the argument was through phone, avoid texting or calling your partner just to show how mad you are. Steer away from any forms of communication for a while. Try to assess the situation first, think of ways to compromise, and then return when you can suggest a solution.
- Do not raise your voice.
When you are filled with emotions, there is a tendency to raise your voice at your spouse. Do not do this. Never shout or scream at your significant other when you are in the middle of a fight as this will only worsen the situation.
When you and your spouse are fighting, try to maintain a calm demeanor. Speak at moderately low voices and try to filter your words. Remember that shouting or saying ill words will not help you in your argument so better do away with it.
- Listen to your spouse.
It may be difficult but try to listen to your spouse’s explanation. There are times when you want to ignore what he or she is saying because you feel hurt or betrayed but do it anyway. Listen to his or her every word, do not interrupt when he or she is speaking, and do not react right away.
- Apologize and forgive.
To resolve your fights, it is very important that you apologize. It doesn’t matter if you were wrong or right. What matters is that you forgive and apologize.
If you are the one apologizing, make sure that you really are sorry for what you have done and that you will make up for it. If you are the one who is asked of forgiveness, only forgive when you are ready.
In resolving arguments, it is very crucial that couples find a way to compromise. You should both swallow your pride and remind yourselves that it is your marriage which is important and not your fights.