There is something incredibly magical about a happy marriage. I was reminded of this by my wife Mary when we were planning our honeymoon. Mary is the energetic, funny, free-spirited woman I married and yet even at times during our years of marriage problems and bumps, she never lost sight of her values and dreams for the future of our marriage. And so I translated those feelings into action.
When I was writing a book about marriage issues, one of the most unexpected, but necessary, insights that I gained was that one of the most important keys to marital happiness is to be honest with your husband about your inner life. In fact, being completely open and honest is one of the first steps to healing any marriage problems. Yet most people are uncomfortable with revealing their innermost feelings to their spouse.
The truth is that we all make mistakes. In fact, forgiveness is one of the most important ingredients to building a strong marriage. You should never be fearful of admitting that you screwed up or felt badly about a particular situation.
Honesty also helps you build trust and intimacy in your marriage. For instance, if you discover that one of your husband’s habits is causing problems in the relationship, you should be completely honest with him about it. Don’t put it off. If he asks, tell him – in the simplest way possible – that you will fix it and you will do it as soon as possible.
Trust and intimacy go hand in hand. I am aware that one of the greatest obstacles to marital happiness is insecurity. The level of trust and intimacy that exists between couples can be difficult to build, especially if there are many sources of insecurity in the marriage. Yet, by taking small steps, it is possible to create a healthy atmosphere where your fears and insecurities are kept at bay.
One way that you can begin to feel better is to look for your spouse’s needs and wants. Do you find that you are constantly making excuses for things that he has done? Do you find that you are taking on more responsibilities than you can handle? Do you feel like you are always getting in his way? Look for the signs that your husband isn’t feeling happy in the marriage.
You have to keep in mind that no one knows your husband better than you do. If you are willing to do what ever it takes to please him, he will be equally willing to work on things with you. Just as you didn’t want to bring a man home before you were sure that he was the one, he won’t want to bring a woman home before she is sure that the one you brought is the one for her. It won’t take long before you are able to start changing his attitude about marriage. This will really open the door to a more satisfying marriage for you. Plus you’ll save quite a bit of money!